Where I Stand by Barry Merrill at Blogger
• Stuck in the '70s
•A political posture in Pikeville
• Weighing in on housing issues
• Congratulations, Caniacs
• Put some sides up on my plate
Where I stand by Barry Merrill
Bits and pieces
It has been an exciting last several weeks, to say the least.
We have moved into our new Princeton office. The exciting thing about computers is they don’t always act like you would like them to, particularly on a network. We switched some things around, and are using some new things, just to make things more spicy when we’re trying to finish the paper (really better, but we aren’t enjoying the benefits yet).
The bottom line is we have managed to get out a paper over the last few weeks, but it’s been exciting along the way.
We’ve a new employee in house. We’re proud to announce that Sarah Wise has joined the staff as a reporter. She grew up in Wayne County, and still worships in Pikeville, but now lives in Johnston County.
Sarah has another year at Peace College, so she will be part-time after the summer, but we are already appreciating her contributions to our paper.
Speaking of new employees, we’re pleased that Ron Lattimore and Angie Tucker are helping us with distribution of our papers on press days.
We’re sad to note that Betty Wellons has left us. Betty worked with us just over a year and occupied a special place in all of our hearts. My younger daughter will be filling in this summer until we hire a permanent replacement.
It’s good to see work progressing on a new town hall. I suspect the new building will be finished before we know it. The new building is long overdue, and will speak volumes about the progressiveness of the town.
Spending money on a new town hall, however, doesn’t free the town of their responsibility to take care of the citizens (see letter to the editor, this page). Finding the money for a new town hall makes some criticize all the more for things that should have already been done.
Speaking of things that some say should have already been done, work is coming along on the new town park. I understand a ceremony opening the park may be held early this summer, if things keep coming along. Again, I know some will complain about how long it has taken, but I’m just glad to see it get done.
Again, I appreciate the town board’s willingness to deal with problems, and I appreciate Mayor Don Rains’ leadership as the town is moving in directions and taking on things which the town had shied away from for years.
I believe Wayne County has begun in earnest to address some of the school facility issues. It’s about time.
I know this outside study has been a bitter pill for some school board members, but if it means that we are moving ahead, and the commissioners are more confident about what we are doing and how we will get there, I am all for it. Besides, sometimes these so-called experts come up with a good thing or two to add to the mix.
It’s been said many times, but one of the toughest things about getting old is having to say goodbye to friends. I remember my dad complained about that many times before he passed not so long ago.
Marilyn and I ran into some old friends Friday night and we remembered a mutual friend that had left us last year.
Don’t you just wish we could put a moritorium on deaths, at least for a few months?
Where I Stand by Barry Merrill
Building real men
Last week I went up to Cary for a meeting, and while there the guys wanted to take a break to hear a speaker who was up there. I joined them willingly, and unexpectedly was greatly blessed.
The speaker is a football coach, Joe Ehrmann. He’s not even a head coach, and he coaches at a private high school I had never heard of, Gilman. I think and hope you will hear a whole lot more about him. He’s a radical.
Thirty years ago, I took the Dale Carnegie Course on Public Speaking and Human Relations. I can’t say I was a good public speaker when I started, and I wouldn’t say I was a great one when I finished, but they did teach me a thing or two. The greatest lesson was one never stated, but shown by example.
There were probably twenty of us in the class, male and female, and we met for about three hours one night a week. As I remember, each of us gave a talk, usually three to five minutes, sometimes extemporaneous. Just practicing public speaking, as you would expect, we got better over time. As I would not expect, some of us who stumbled and lacked the confidence to say twenty words loudly and distinctly enough to be understood, were suddenly giving talks that were outstanding.
How did this amazing transformation occur? We had a teacher, who you might expect to each week analyze our talks, talk about the things we did well, and offer suggestions for improvements in the areas we were weak. He didn’t. Well, he did and he didn’t.
Joe Ehrmann talked about a football game they had played, I forget when, but it was a season opener. I think they were ranked No. 1 in the state private school poll and they were playing No. 2, a school I had heard of, DeMatha. That school has graduated some of the top high school basketball players in the country. I know kids would give their “eye teeth” to play basketball for DeMatha, and I suspect, with the ranking, they have brought in some top kids to play football, too.
They showed a clip from an interview that was done on the team by Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. They interviewed Joe and the head coach, and showed clips from a game or two. Gilman does not recruit outstanding football players. They take average kids, and excuse the expression, but some looked like runts, and turns them into an outstanding team. From the looks of them, Aycock and Rosewood have bigger football players. They are working with kids that look like they could be playing for Princeton.
Did I mention they beat DeMatha? They beat a lot of other teams. They have been undefeated three of the last five years. They schedule other nationally ranked teams, and are regularly ranked as one of the top teams nationally, not just in the state.
How do Joe and his head coach, Biff, regularly turn a bunch of runt football players into an outstanding football team? The same way that Dale Carnegie discovered you can turn a bunch of runt public speakers into outstanding ones.
Instead of grabbing the face mask of the runner who has just fumbled or the offensive lineman who has just missed an important block and screaming at them as they come off the field, they (hold on to your shorts) love them. They do talk about the good things the kids are doing, praising them.
Yes, they stress the fundamentals of good football, but they use all positive reinforcement. By praising the good things that kids are doing, they encourage them to do it all the more, and others see what is being praised, and what works, and they try to do it, too.
Before each game, Joe asks the players what the job of the coaches is. They respond in unison, “To love us.” Then he asked what their job is. They answer (hold on to your shorts), “To love each other.”
Joe’s day job is as a pastor. I think the job at Gilman is volunteer, and it’s not a church school. They have to sign a non-proselytizing pledge, but they model their faith through action.
Joe says kids go around with keyboards about their necks that connect directly with their brains. We can input good stuff, and build them up, or we can input bad stuff, and tear them down. He knows plenty about the bad stuff.
Joe’s dad was alcoholic and was gone most of the time. When he was around, Joe didn’t get what he needed. In trying to prove himself to a father, to earn his love, affection and affirmation, Joe became an All-American football player at Syracuse and an all-pro for the Baltimore Colts. From his maybe ten years in the pros, he says most of the other players are motivated to extraordinary efforts by dysfunctional relationships with their fathers.
He says most of the guys he played with had holes in their hearts, father-sized holes in their hearts. Many of the kids who come to play for Gilman have father-sized holes in their hearts. They aren’t their fathers, but they fill those holes with love, affection, and affirmation. They heal the wounds, so they can love one another, and play as a team.
They build real men who are whole, who are champions, not only on the football field, but in life.
P.S. There is a best-seller out about Joe called Season of Life by Jeffrey Marx, if you want to know more. If I hear he’s coming back to the area, I’ll let you know.
Where I Stand by Barry Merrill
Welcome to the future
Beginning this week, we are launching a series of changes at the News Leader.
We are moving our Princeton office, our main production office, two doors down. We are more than doubling our effective office space.
We have been a very close office. Some would say too close.
One of our goals in all of this transition is to expand our staff. Providing a reasonable work area for a new employee has been one of the priorities of this move.
There are other reasons here, though.
For the first time in a number of years, we have bought some new furniture. Some of the equipment is twenty years old that we are replacing. Many of our work areas will be more functional than we were able to have in years past.
Someone recently reminded me of the first office we were in in Princeton. It is probably less than one-fourth the size of the new office. When we opened in Princeton, we had two people in this office and it worked. It also had a developing darkroom. It was tucked neatly away on Center Street.
Our new office is at the corner of Pine and Edwards. It’s a location I have looked at for several years. Along with the larger building, it provides greater visibility, at one of the busiest intersections in town. We’ve got something coming to make that special.
While we are making our first transition with our Princeton office, we have plans for our Fremont office. While we won’t be moving any time soon, we will be making some significant improvements.
Similarly in Fremont, the paper started out in the front two rooms of an old house on Main St. We had a large production darkroom in our Fremont office on 117, but due to advances in technology, that has been eliminated.
As in Princeton, we moved several years ago to a much more visible office. We are at a point of needing to improve the building, and we will be upgrading some of the equipment over time. I can’t announce a timetable, but it definitely is on the plans.
I think it was around the first of the year when I announced that we were going to be making some changes. I was very cryptic and fuzzy on what those changes would be. As I said then, I am very excited and believe these changes will have some very positive impacts on our products.
One of the frustrations we have is limited time, money and energy that we can devote to these changes. We still have to get out a newspaper every week, and we have bills to pay as a result of that endeavor. I have at times a grandiose vision, but getting there is frustratingly slow.
Some things just take time. Getting them right is not one of my personal strengths. I want to hit the high points and move on, but part of the charge we have is getting it right. Fortunately, we have good people working on that, and we want to make sure we get them right before we put them in the paper, or wherever.
I should ask for some indulgences. This weekend we will be physically moving. We have started, but we will be re-connecting computers, putting in a new phone system, and trying to figure out where everything is after the move. I know there will be some glitches and headaches, but we are trying to anticipate as many problems as we can. Please bear with us over the next week or two as we figure things out.
As I get older, this change thing gets harder. I remember an old newspaper friend selling his newspaper rather than training a new reporter. I am beginning to appreciate that more and more.
Still, I can’t deny that I am truly excited about the changes we have in store. We will be on the cutting edge in some ways. In others, we may be a bit ahead of the curve.
Hang on. I think it will be a fun ride. At least I am real hopeful I can say that a few months from now.
Where I Stand by Barry Merrill
Cruising the Mediterranean III
Before we left home, we had a few anxieties about going to Turkey. It is a predominantly Muslim nation, and we saw many mosques while we were there, and heard the call to prayer as we visited some of the ruins.
We had a couple of different tour guides while in Turkey. Both were very good, and very friendly, as were the people we met. We stopped at a hotel for a Turkish meal and found everyone very nice, and shopped at some Turkish shops, where bartering is encouraged, and found the exchange charming.
On the final Wednesday of our trip, we split the day, starting at Pergamum, and ending at Sardis, two of the churches mentioned in Revelation. At Pergamum, we toured the bath-gymnasium, which has been restored. It is one of the more impressive of the ruins that we visited on the trip, a two-story structure as restored.
At Sardis, we visited an ancient hospital. There was a spring which ran through the building, which I guess had some medicinal values, but as our guide pointed out, many remains are at the end of the hospital.
The following day we visited Ephesus. There are acres and acres of ruins there, and there are new discoveries as they continue to excavate. While the Acropolis in Athens is impressive with the size of the temples, I was more impressed with the numbers of different buildings and types of buildings in Ephesus. They have also restored the Roman aquaducts which ran for many miles and provided fresh, running water.
There is, of all things, a library at Ephesus, which has been restored. The two-story structure is most impressive, and, like the Statue of Liberty, it has been recreated in plastic and in many photos as a momento for many to bring back from their trip.
As a friend pointed out when I got back, his boss had traveled there and was impressed with a communal bathroom, a thirty-hole privy, if you will, which had running water to take away the waste and smell. As there apparently were not separate male and female facilities, I guess with the robes of the day you still had some modesty.
There are terrace homes unearthed, though not available to explore. Like many other ruins, there were many shop spaces along the Roman roads constructed in the cities and eventually running from Rome to India. As indicated by the carvings in the stones at many of the shops, many of the shop owners were Christians, displaying crosses.
There was also a stadium at Ephesus. Our guides said that there were performances at the stadium, but later it became the site of slaughter of Christians who publicly proclaimed their faith. Our church leaders led a communion service, along with a public profession of faith. It was the most moving time of the trip for me.
Early the next morning we docked at Patmos. The island, we were told, has been visited by many famous people including Bruce Willis, Tom Hanks, and former president George Bush. It is very beautiful, and from what we were told, very reasonable for rentals.
We visited two monasteries there. Unfortunately, the larger of the two was closed to us as the monks were worshipping when we arrived. The smaller, where a single monk now lives, is at the cave where the vision came to the writer of Revelation. The cave is adorned with many paintings and mosaics depicting the writer of Revelation and the vision. While we were brought in and led out as others came to tour the site, during our time there, it was possible to envision during prayer and worship in solitude, God coming to reveal a vision. Again, it was very moving.
That afternoon we set sail for Athens, and very early the next morning (5:30 a.m.), went to the airport for a very long day flying back to Raleigh, arriving not long before midnight (local time, six hours later than Athens) that Friday.
As I reflect on the significance of all we saw, a couple of things jump out at me. In addition to the obvious witness in the massive amount of Christian artwork we saw, the towering structures of the day were built to the Roman and Greek gods. While they have been reconstructed, time has literally flattened and buried all that those cultures honored as important, while the symbols of Christianity are vibrant and abundant today.
Those impressive Roman structures were also a witness to the dominance of that culture during the times of the early Christians. Imagine the courage of the early Christians, preaching against, if you will, what most everyone else of the day believed, and affirming that belief would in many days lead to your death.
I doubt we will have the chance to go there again, but we have wonderful memories and many pictures of the places Paul and the early Christians lived and preached and where many were killed for their faith.
If you have any desire to go, I think you may find it less expensive than you might imagine, and will find it a most enjoyable trip.
Where I Stand by Barry Merrill
Cruising the Mediterranean II
One of the things that doesn’t cease to amaze me is how much time and money that people throughout history invested in religious artwork. Cathedrals and basilicas across the area we traveled in March are adorned with amazing works on the pillars of our faith.
Our tour began in Venice, and we spent an extra day there. Venice is much more than canals and gondolas. The city has been a merchant hub for centuries, and became a city of great wealth. We toured a glass factory (and supported the local economy), and shopped the jewelry stores. San Marcos Square is the most famous place in Venice, featuring the government house as well as the main church in the city. While there are many churches in Venice, this church features some of the most glorious statues, mosaics and paintings.
While some of our group took gondola rides, we passed as it was cold (and the time of year may be something you consider if you go).
There are pigeons all over the square, and bird seed sellers. Many buy seed, and the pigeons will literally cover you if you are holding bird seed. Maybe a Kodak moment. We also took a side trip to Padua while there to the Basilica of St. Anthony. That was worth the time.
Let me digress. We left RDU around noon on Tuesday. We flew to Washington, switched to a Lufthansa flight to Frankfort, and then took a short flight to Venice from Frankfort. With the time changes, it was around 10:30 a.m. local time when we got to Venice, but around 4:30 a.m. our time. We did a little sightseeing, and while most of us got some sleep on the plane, most were ready for a nap at the hotel when we checked in right after lunch. After dinner that night, again, we were ready for more sleep.
Most of us were having trouble getting adjusted to the time change, and once we got on our ship, the first day was spent at sea. Those of us who had flown into Venice a day early were about adjusted by Friday, our day at sea, while those who just flew in the day before used Friday to try to get their internal clocks re-set. Plan for a day of adjustment with all of the time changes.
As with most ships, there were early and late seatings for dinner and passengers alternated, but they also offered another dining area for breakfast and lunch for buffets. We never made it to the late night buffet.
The TV’s in the cabins offered CNN and BBC satellite feeds, a couple of German channels, and usually two movies, as well as a live shot from the front of the ship.
On Friday there was the Captain’s reception. They served duck at dinner that night, but they had five courses with all sorts of choices. Marilyn had beef, I had shrimp. On other nights they had ostrich and venison. One night was an international night, where they served exotic dishes from around the globe on a buffet.
On Saturday, we stopped at our first port, Corinth. As it is at a narrow that connects the main peninsula with the lower peninsula of Greece, it has been a transfer point from one sea to the other. In the past fifty years, they finally cut a canal, which we viewed, though they had proposed it centuries ago. We viewed the Temple of Apollo and the road which the Romans built, along with merchant shop spaces along the road that have been excavated. There is also a stage where in Scripture Paul and the proconsul debated.
Unlike other areas, the archeologists working this area do no reconstruction, but unearth what they find and leave it where they find it.
There is a nice museum at Corinth which Marilyn visited.
As much of Greece is volcanic, there are frequent earthquakes in the region, which make the structures still intact that much more impressive.
Sunday we visited Athens. After a worship service on board, we left that afternoon for the Acropolis, which refers to the high point of the city, where the Greeks and Romans built their temples to their gods. The Pathenon’s stature, the 13 columns still standing, is magnified as it is visible from much of Athens. Unlike many of the other areas we visited, where the city has either died or been reconstructed elsewhere after an earthquake or other disaster, Athens has grown and surrounds the Acropolis. Other impressive structures, like the Olympic stadium, are also surrounded by the city. Unlike Corinth, there has been significant reconstruction at the Acropolis. One of the temples has been completely removed for work at one of the universities.
Just below the Acropolis is Mars Hill, where according to Scriptures, Paul preached.
The next day we went to Philipi and visited the site where it is said Lydia was baptized after hearing Paul preach. We held a baptism remembrance service at that spot.
In the afternoon, we went on to Thessaloniki, which is the home of our tour guide. We toured her home church, and again, found the mosaics and other artwork to be most impressive.
(To be completed next week)
Where I Stand by Barry Merrill
Cruising the Mediterranean
A year ago a friend mentioned that he would really like someday to cruise the Mediterranean. At the time it was the furthest thing from my mind, but a couple of months later, I heard that the Methodist Church was organizing a cruise to re-trace the steps of Paul on his second and third missionary journeys. I asked my wife, Marilyn, if she was interested, and surprisingly to me she said yes.
One of our big hurdles was the newspaper. While we have delegated some of our week-to-week responsibilities as we have increased staff in recent months, there are still a lot of the functions of getting out the paper which we perform each week. Being gone more than three or four days has been a rarity, and I think more than four or five has almost never happened in the twenty plus years we have had the paper, so you can imagine being gone for 11 days. Still our staff encouraged us to go, so we did the best to prepare them and told them they would be on their own as we had no easy way of being contacted for last minute problems.
As we found out a few weeks before, we would have some Rosewood neighbors on the cruise. Davis and Mary Whitfield, and Stephen and Janet Owle, along with their pastor, Donald Stewart, all of Westwood United Methodist Church, were on board.
We were also delighted to find out that some old friends would be on board. Mary Jo Hooks, Barbara Bolding, Betsy Smith, and Emily Gamble, all members of Fremont UMC, along with their pastor, Martin Armstrong, were welcome companions along the way. Betsy Johnson, who has moved to New Bern, but was another friend in Fremont when we lived there, was also on board.
Due to some of our work with the church, we have made a number of other friends around the state, several who also made the cruise. As it turned out, we sat with Milton Gilbert, who is the district superintendent for the Goldsboro District, and his wife, Lucretia, and there were a number of others from Mount Olive. In fact, there were more from the Goldsboro District than any other part of North Carolina on the cruise with several hundred others from across the country.
Let me offer a few comments about travel, cruising, and religion. The idea of cruising the Mediterranean, a concept from the 1950’s in my head, is one of something the very rich do. As the father of a daughter who has twice been to Europe, and another daughter who has gone to Japan, I have come to understand that European travel, and travel around the globe, isn’t reserved for the rich few any more. For many of us, it’s more a matter of time.
I have also found that cruising is a very economical way to travel the few times we have been on a cruise. We were on a deluxe ship, a smaller ship, the M.S. Astoria, that was booked through E.O. Tours. We found the service to be top drawer and the food to be outstanding. I believe this is reflective of the newer cruise ships: our room was huge as compared with our cruises of 30 years ago.
If you have not been on a cruise before, let me share some advice. You can read in the literature about stabilizers, and those are important, but when you get out into open sea, you usually will have some rough waters, you will have some up and down motion in your cabins. The more forward or further back you are in the ship, the more pronounced the motion. As Marilyn is prone to motion sickness, and got sick on our honeymoon cruise, she insisted on a cabin near the middle of the ship, and we got one about 2/3rds of the way back. That seemed to be better.
While there were a number of experienced cruisers on board, there were also a number of people who got seasick. There were some who were taking Dramamine (start before you get on the ship), and there were others with the patches behind their ears. The owner of the tour company joined us during the cruise, and sat with Marilyn and I one morning at breakfast. He had acupuncture bands on his wrists, which are available at grocery stores he says, and he says does the trick for him.
There are cheaper ways to travel to where we went, and you have to make your own mind up as to what suits you. We went on a religious tour, and as you would expect, there was little drinking on board the ship, and no gambling. The entertainment on board was not the caliber you might find on a more commercial cruise, but was good.
The cruise was structured to financially encourage pastors to come with members of their congregations, and while our pastor didn’t go, we found their presence to be important. We also had lectures from a seminary professor about the places where we were visiting, the Scripture relevance, and some teachings about the importance in our lives today about what we were studying.
A very important ingredient is the tour guide. We had guides who were very knowledgeable, not only of the places we visited, but also the Biblical perspectives on those places. For the most part, they spoke very good English. Along with the very comfortable tour busses, they made the trip much more enjoyable.
We have been on a couple of other cruises, as I said earlier, and we knew no one on those cruises before we got on board. We enjoyed both, but something could be said for being with people we knew, and church people who we enjoy.
As I said earlier, there are cheaper ways to travel, but we enjoyed the benefits of this choice.
More next week.
David Williams at Blogger
• Youth sports issues that irk me
• Too emotionally involved to be unbiased
• Do you ever get a good idea?
• Culture Shock
David Williams
TV news self-promoting
I am beginning to think that one of two things about me is true. Either I am more astutely observant in the subtle ways of society than the average person, or I spend a lot of time worrying about things of significantly little importance.
For example, it is starting to get under my skin that television news shows — especially local ones – are reporting on the updated plot lines of reality television shows as if they were news events.
A Triangle television station has begun to include in its morning news broadcasts the fortunes of the contestants from “American Idol” the day before. It’s the station with two digits in its channel, but uses news from the station with one digit in its channel.
This station — the one with one digit — has in the past made sure to let their news-hungry audience know who was voted off the island on “Survivor.”
Why is this newsworthy?
Has the world scene become so tranquil that precious little of significance is going on — to the point a television station can’t fill up its allotted time for news?
Is the political wrangling between Democrats and Republicans now so sanguine that getting face time on the tube for Simon Cowell has greater importance than the president and his critics?
The only possible public good that stories like this can do is to update the 14 or so out there that watch “American Idol,” but miss out on the latest episode.
If the pretty TV people were just spending 15 seconds saying, “So-and-so got eliminated from American Idol Wednesday night, now here’s the weather,” I probably wouldn’t be nearly as irritated about it. But these folks not only tell you about who’s out, but also show you two minutes of footage and spend an extra minute talking to themselves about how much they liked that one that left and wished the one that stayed had gotten thrown out instead.
This is nothing but shameless self-promotion. The station with one digit in its channel does this for their program, and the station with two digits in its channel does it for their program. It’s a ploy to get you to watch that show, an infomercial within a broadcast.
We could do the same thing here at the News-Leader by writing an article on what a huge impact last week’s article made on the population, and how next week’s article will be even better than last week’s.
Would you want to read that? I wouldn’t want to write it. But that’s what passes for TV news.
It must be working, though. Now the station with two digits is giving the news-viewing public a peek at what happened on their local talent show, “Gimme the Mike,” during the news broadcast. Apparently, you don’t have adequate knowledge of junk TV with just the national reality show updates. Now you need to know if some regional wannabe is willing to belt out a song and get criticized on television for it by judges no one has ever heard of.
I just hope that somewhere in the back of their newsroom — and the newsroom for both the station with one digit and the station with two digits is the same newsroom — there is an assistant producer shaking his head and wondering what happened to the integrity of broadcast news.
Historians of television know that in the early days, television news reporters had to work hard to develop a reputation for journalism that belied being on the boob tube. They had to compete with the credibility of print and radio news, and prove themselves as trustworthy a their rivals, despite the fact that come on after the show with the dancing monkey and the juggling clown.
But now it seems they have come full circle, and cannot wait put on the red nose and big shoes and jump into the three-ring circus that television has become.
I am not a reality show fan, although I have tuned in to watch things like “Dancing with the Stars” and “Last Comic Standing.” I stopped watching these things when I realized that the producers influence the public’s vote.
For example: Contestant performs. Mean Judge says he stunk. But Contestant is reasonably good-looking, and viewers feel bad for Contestant. They get on the phone and vote like mad to prove Mean Judge wrong — just like Producer wanted them to.
Besides, the telephone company is making a killing when everyone picks up their telephone 17 gazillion times to vote.
When all is said and done, this tripe is not news. It is a television show, and not even a show with much redeeming social value. Those TV anchors might as well tell you what happened on “House” or “My Name Is Earl.” They might as well tell you who won the ball game.
Wait … they already do that.
Coincidence? I wonder.
If I wanted to know what happened on these shows, I would tune to it at the appropriate time or set the DVR — assuming I owned one. I do not need my news time wasted with entertainment news. You know, it’s funny — the words “entertainment” and “news”
used to have meanings that were polar opposites. Now, they come together to create a new genre.
Well, those that like it can keep it. Personally, I would just cry if I thought back to the 1970s and remembered listening to Walter Cronkite saying something like, “President Nixon will return from his China trip shortly. And hey, guess what … Topo Gigio was a special guest on Ed Sullivan. Boy, was he funny. I sure like that little guy when he says, “Eddie … kiss me goodnight.”
Those not of that era might want to ask your parents who Topo Gigio or Ed Sullivan were. I hope you won’t ask them who Walter Cronkite was.
David Williams
A letter to my son
Hopefully, this will also express similar feelings of readers who have children in similar circumstances.
Dear Scotty,
Here it is. Graduation from college is upon you, the last step of life’s preparation and the first step of real independent adult life.
You have worked very hard and prepared diligently to get your life going in the best direction possible. And it has been your own judgment and decisions, almost every step of the way since high school, that brought you to the place you now stand.
A lot of people will congratulate you on this accomplishment.
Your friends will smile and shake your hand, slap you on the back and make a few good-natured jokes to mark the moment. They are happy for you, and proud to call you their friend.
Your family - some of whom have traveled hundreds of miles - will tell you how proud they are of you. That may seem strange coming from people who have not seen you in several years, but their love and caring go beyond the physical borders of geography.
That is true of your family who live close to you, as well. They have missed you in these four years, but they think of you often. Many of them consider you a role model, and try to go after their goals with the same grit and effort that they saw in you.
And others will look on from a better place - Grandpa Williams, Grandma Bobbie, and Granny Sallie. I believe they are all gathered together in heaven, looking down and smiling at you with pride at how you have turned out.
You have a passion for teaching and for helping people that will serve you well as a teacher. It shows in all you have done, as a teacher and as a coach. It was born from those days when you thought all you had to offer was your brains, and your desire bred a determination that has been your ally whenever a challenge confronted you.
Life has thrown you curves, like everyone. Everything did not go as planned for you, and you had to adjust the short-term goals to keep the long-term goals in sight. A broken kneecap, a broken heart a time or two, and the occasional broken spirit when something you wanted slipped out of your grasp.
You didn’t have everything you wanted. But you did get everything you needed. And you made the most of every opportunity laid in your path.
Your mom and I tried not to push you down a path we would have wanted you to take, but guided you gently as you chose your own direction. As parents, we tried to be your sources of strength, and gave you what you needed without infringing on your blossoming independence.
My dad wrote to me once that as a parent, one of the things he was proudest of was that he and my mom raised seven children, none of whom turned into jailbirds or drug addicts. That seems a very simple goal, but a very important one. Now that I have experienced being a parent, I can tell you that it requires a lot of discipline - not only from parent to child, but the self-discipline of a parent to not give in to the easy road – to get to those simple goals. You will see that yourself someday, when you are a father.
You are not just going to be a great teacher - you are going to be a great person. That is what I am most proud of.
You can count on Mom and I to be there for you for the rest of your life, for whatever needs you have come up. We may not need to take care of you as we once did, but we will always be your parents. And as Mom likes to say, you will always be our baby.
Memories wash over me as I think of the steps that led to this day.
Times you tried and failed, and times you tried and won.
Arguments we had over both trivial things and important things, and the understandings we came to when it was all over.
Things you and your sister did that infuriated us then, and make us laugh until our sides hurt by remembering them now.
Times of great sadness, and times of great joy.
The things we did together, both when you were very young, and when you got older.
You know I love to pick on you, and try and embarrass you a little sometimes. You also know that comes from love and camaraderie. You are not just my son, but also my friend.
The passing of time tells us that as our lives continue, we will grow apart in distance and in destination. Your life will take you on a path that may not be parallel to mine. I will miss you in my daily life, but I will always be somewhere in the world, thinking of you. And you have but to say the words, and I will be beside you for any and all things, God willing. You have my loyalty, my love, and my support, and will always have those gifts forever.
The world is going to get a great teacher. I know that because that great teacher has been a great son.
I love you very much.
Dad
David Williams
Good things to eat
The folks that think up good things to eat are working overtime these days.
I have heard a lot in the last three weeks about a new delicacy to be served up at a minor league baseball stadium near St. Louis. This new take on the traditional hamburger is developing the kind of likability that has no ambiguity — you either love it, or you hate it.
The new hamburger’s ingredients are traditional enough — a hamburger patty, two strips of bacon and sharp cheddar cheese — but the twist comes when you look at the bun.
It’s not a bun. It’s a Krispy Kreme doughnut.
The sinker is split in half, with the sticky, sweet sides turned in towards the bun so it can be cleanly handled.
This little ditty will run the baseball fan $4.50. I guess that’s in line with specialty stadium food.
But the reaction to this sandwich has been marked. The team has been on the morning talk-show circuit of television and radio for weeks since they announced the launch of the doughnut burger.
Admittedly, the initial reaction is revulsion. The. comes a curiosity – the thing is usually compared to the McDonald’s McGriddles breakfast sandwich. With that curiosity comes a desire to try it just once.
And when that happens, these folks are banking that they will have you hooked.
I have been to several minor league ball games. They serve enough beer in these parks that most of the imbibing fans would be willing to try Wolverine work boots if they had enough mustard.
But the whole thing about this sandwich goes beyond the taste. Obviously the combined flavor of sweet and savory is not a universal hit, but the real objection to this doughnut burger is the heath factor. It carries 600 calories and has 40 grams of fat.
But what on earth makes people think food has to be healthy to be saleable? It has been my experience that good food and food that is good for you, while not mutually exclusive, tend to become polarized when you add in a popularity factor. Walk through a convenience store and see if you can find the healthy snacks. You won’t find much — because it does not sell. Even granola needs to be compressed into a candy bar shape and slathered with sugar, honey and chocolate before customers will give it a try.
People eat what they feel comfortable with. I have been on self-imposed diet for just over a year, and while my weight loss is pleasing, I have to admit I miss certain comfort foods — fried chicken is something I have not gotten away from completely, and I do miss those big, tasty yeast rolls when I go to a restaurant.
I don’t yearn for the fast foods I gave up. I order more salads then I do entrees these days. But in certain situations, I wish I could tear into a big cheeseburger or stretch out on the couch with a bag of chips and bowl of cheesy dip.
The people selling you things like the doughnut burger aren’t offering you an alternative to each meal you eat. They are giving you a chance for an occasional guilty pleasure — because research and experience says that as consumers, we will pay good money for it.
Hardees took a lot of heat a few years ago when they brought out the Monster Burger — nearly half a pound of meat, cheese and bacon, It had humongous amounts of fat and cholesterol in every bite. It made the Big Mac look slimming by comparison. Hardees’ response was “Yeah, so what?”
Actually, the response was not quite as in-your-face as that. But they did say they planned to sell what tastes good, because people bought what tastes good.
Good for them.
There is too much blaming going on for people’s poor choices in life. Some smokers blamed the cigarette companies for making an addictive and dangerous product for them to use, but did not mention how millions of smokers kicked the habit and got healthy. McDonald's has been taken to task for serving hamburgers and fries that make people obese, but no one forced any McDonald's patron to buy the food, or to eat it. Super-size that.
The blaming society loves to assess responsibility on others and take none for themselves. So to all those pious individuals who sniff at the doughnut burger and sneer about it’s secret desire to destroy all of society one mouthful at a time, I have only one thing to say.
Bon appetit.
And if the Kinston Indians want to start serving up a doughnut burger at it’s games, I may consider it my journalistic responsibility to research it thoroughly and report on my findings.
My waistline is small price to pay to defend the common good.
David Williams
Checking game show tryout off my list
Everyone has one of those lists that they made up when they were a kid, consisting of things they wanted to do at least once in their lives. Even if the list isn’t written down on paper and tucked away somewhere in the pages of a book or stuffed into some shoe box of keepsakes, it is somewhere in the recesses of their mind.
You don’t have to be an adventurer to have one of these lists. You just have to have struck a notion to try something, smiled about the thought of it, and said, “Yeah … someday.”
I got to cross one of those things off my own list recently … I tried out for a TV game show.
While it isn’t as exotic as climbing the Alps or as razor’s-edge as skydiving, it was something I always wanted to try.
I have loved game shows since I was a kid. As a grammar-schooler, I thought the best thing about being out of school with an illness was getting to lay on the couch in the living room and watch the game shows all morning. Of course, the worst part was sitting around all afternoon when the kids got home from school and watching your mother’s soap operas while your friends were out playing.
But I was a loyal devotee of them all … Jeopardy … Concentration … Password … The Price is Right, when Bob Barker’s hair was the color of his suits. It was exciting and fun, not just the prizes to win, but the energy and enthusiasm they brought.
I have always wanted to be on a game show. When “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” was on, I was regularly punching the telephone keypad, trying to answer those questions and get a spot with Regis.
So my game show itch never got scratched … until recently. I have been watching NBC’s current game show, “Deal or No Deal,” and even played it online several times. The web site said that a contestant search was coming up … in Raleigh.
Nothing could stop me. I had to go and try out.
I knew from the outset that the chance of actually making it to the show were slim at best. But I had to try.
On the appointed day, I cleared my schedule so make the trip. The search was going to be at a Raleigh nightclub from 4 p.m. until 9 p.m. I knew getting there early would be imperative, especially when I saw the local NBC affiliate had ran announcements of the tryout during the show’s broadcast.
I got to Raleigh at 2:30 that afternoon and quickly found the site. It was easy to find – I looked for the huge line of people.
I found a parking garage, thinking that the fee for leaving my car there would be around ten bucks. Small price to pay, I thought.
I got on line at 2:39 p.m. … and the line was three blocks long. Twenty minutes later, it was four blocks long. Those who got in line when I did — and were feeling sorry for themselves regarding their proximity — were soon feeling pretty blessed.
There was nothing to do but stand in line. Some brought those chairs-in-a-sack, some brought books and magazines to read, others chatted away on their cell phones.
3:15 p.m. … the line moved about three feet. Someone had given up on the chance. We greedily inched up in the line like eager recruits waiting to sample cheesecake.
3:30 p.m. … the line began to flow freely ahead. Is it open this soon? We all thought as we quickly shuffled up in the queue. It turned out that the police had asked the promoters to tighten up the line so traffic between blocks would not be impeded.
Rumors began to flow up and down the line as time drew near. The producers were late … Howie Mandel, the host, was going to be there … no, he’s not … the site wouldn’t hold us all … the first person on line had actually slept on the sidewalk for days … it went on and on.
The hopefuls lined up with me had begun to talk and visit with each other. One had come from Southern Pines, another from Spartanburg, South Carolina. My trip from Goldsboro seemed a walk around the corner.
4:15 p.m. … folks in the front of the line began to shout and cheer. We soon saw why – three producers were walking down the line filming, and wanted to see some excitement. This seemed phony and cheesy, but I smiled and waved at the camera like everyone else. There were chants of “No Deal!” – the show’s catchword – and some of the type-A personalities in the line began to express themselves in a mock audition.
4:40 p.m. … a man handed me a piece of paper with questions on it. It was marked No. 441, meaning I was 441st in line. The questions were sometimes logical – “What was the luckiest moment in your life?” and “What would you do with a million dollars?” and sometimes bizarre – “Can you rollerblade?” and “What is something about you that people cannot tell just by looking?”
I filled it out, signed the disclaimer on the back and continued my vigil. In a gracious show of charity, a woman just behind me got out of line, went into a nearby store and bought a bag of pens for the rest of us.
5:15 p.m. … the line began to crawl forward. It excited those of us who had been standing and waiting.
6:45 p.m. … MADE IT! We were at the door. We were split into groups of 10 and ushered around a long table. A producer jumped behind the table and told us to come in close, picking up our questionnaires as he went.
“O.K.” he said. “I am going around the table, and you have 30 seconds to show me why you should be picked for the show.”
Guess who went first?
I blurted out something about myself and what I did, but it was loud in there and I had no way of knowing if he even heard me. He made a joke about being the newspaper guy for Mayberry, and I laughed like that was a new one.
Quickly, he rapid-fired his way around the table. I knew I was sunk.
“O.K., thanks for coming out,” he said. “If we want you, we will be calling tonight.”
I didn’t rush home to sit by the phone. But it was fun, all things considered. Not because standing in line for four-plus hours is fun, but because it was something I always wanted to do.
I’d do it again. Of course, I’d bring my chair-in-a-sack.
David Williams
The spin of Election years
I recently came across a CD given to me some months ago while I was at a workshop conducted by the American Copy Editors. This group is a professional organization made up of people who edit stories and check the accuracy of what goes into newspapers.
Yes, there really is such a group.
I pick up the CD and review its contents every now and then. During one of those recent perusals, I came across a study sheet that I thought would serve the voting public well, especially since we are six weeks into an election year.
The title of the study sheet was “Five Math Mistakes.” Don’t turn off, now — this column is not about math. It’s about the hoodwinking of the American people on a regular basis by that segment of the population who wishes to be elected to office.
I am not pointing fingers — Democrats and Republicans alike are guilty of these shenanigans. And it’s not like these incidents are boldfaced lies, either — just subtle influences folks usually do not notice on the surface.
As we get into the primaries and both sides begin to sling their mud and spin their stories, it might be helpful to remember these little points.
• First, you hear about a lot of polls in election years
When you look at a poll, first thing to do is look at who paid to create it. A little research will tell you that 99 percent of those people have personal agendas, which at least gives the impression that their polls might be skewed to favor a particular position. And don’t be swayed by polls that have names of news networks or newspapers. They also have agendas.
The next thing to see with polls is the margin of error. Every poll has one, and they are giant red flags to me. Any poll with a margin of error that is greater than five points needs to line the bottom of a birdcage. You would get better information from a community bulletin board.
Most national polls have a margin of error of around three percent. Now, suppose in one poll Candidate A trails Candidate B by five points. Guess what? This is a statistical tie. The margin for error is plus or minus three percent, meaning the numbers for either candidate could be higher or lower by as much as three percent. If the leader’s numbers are three points lower and the trailer’s numbers are three points higher … see?
• Wording is everything. Suppose you read a story that says a company’s profit report went from 15 percent to 10 percent. Does that mean the company’s profit dropped five percent? No — it dropped 33 percent. The company’s profit percentage points dropped five percent. See the difference? The percent change went down one-third.
• In the middle of a campaign, writers are looking to put out any kind of story that will show “momentum swings.” Small changes in poll numbers are common and have a lot of reasons, even plain luck. Watch for pundits to tell the masses that a slight increase in a candidate’s numbers after a big speech on an issue “is because he struck a chord with the good, hard-working people who believe as he does, not the evil opponent who wants to rip our ideals down brick by brick.”
The pundit saying that may be overstating his case a bit. But many people are influenced by stuff like this.
• Control of a legislative body by one party or the other is a big story, and one that will be especially noticed in the North Carolina House and Senate this fall. Watch how the numbers add up.
For example, if one party has eight more seats than another, how many seats does the minority party have to pick up to gain control?
The answer is five. Remember that a loss for one party is a gain for the other. If the minority party wins four seats, then the majority loses four and both parties have an equal number. Winning five seats would mean they pick up one more and the other party loses one more, giving control over to the other party.
It would be advisable to go to that campaign headquarters for a better party that night.
• Most importantly, political parties will release information designed to make voters proud of their candidate and scared of the other one. These games are the most dangerous in politics, and voters need to use a very skeptical eye in reading them.
In some cases, statistics can be skewed to the point that both positions are supported by the same figures.
Let’s say a report is released saying that 100 million Americans breathe polluted air. That’s a shocking and scary statement. But the opposition releases a report, using the same statistical data, saying that during most days, the air in every U.S. city is healthy. Statistically, that would be right.
The key is in the wording. 100 million people do breathe polluted air — but not all the time, and not every day. Depending on the standard by which air is judged polluted, people could breathe polluted air whenever they fertilize their lawn. Most days, the air is O.K — how many days are there in “most days?” Four out of seven? 16 days out of 30?
Look for these influences as you watch the political process unfold. And no matter which party you are a part of, remember that everyone is trying to put a great face on themselves and a grade-A ugly face on the other guy.
Sometimes, a jaded eye is best used to discover the truth.